Raven or Auburn or Platinum... oh my!

I'm one of the most indecisive people you will meet.When I was younger, I swore that pink was the worst color ever to be invented. Now, I can't get enough of it! I switched my major from Environmental Science (aka: rooting around in the woods) to Merchandising Management (aka: being an aesthetics expert). And now, finally, the thing I haven't been able to keep from toying with for the past 6 years has come back to haunt me. Yes folks, I am talking about my innate need to change my haircolor.

I was happy enough as a child. Born a blonde, my hair had darkened to a light brown by the time I was finished with middle school. The summer before high school and a bottle of Sun-In left my long hair with some lighter brown and blond tones, but by sophmore year, I had to change again. I took my hair up to my shoulders and a dark blonde shade. I was happy for quite a while, but after a few months, it was time to go darker. A dark brown and some side bangs gave me a new outlook on life, not to mention they were a perfect contrast to my milky complexion. Senior year saw me wanted to change again. This time, it was a burgundy-red color and a shorter length that was way too hard to keep perfect. I went down a few shades to a brighter red, but knew that it wouldn't stay for long. After getting some of the color bleached out, I was a gorgeous strawberry blonde for my senior prom. I didn't do much with my hair that summer, because of the damage the bleaching did. But by the time I was about to move to attend college, I decided on an a-line bob, blunt bangs, and a deep brown shade. The bangs reminded me of elementary school, so I started growing the whole lot out and didn't dye for a while in an attempt to look more natural. This past summer, I was stricken with a fever to change my hair drastically and went a dark brown that might as well have been black. I was so happy, that color and I had a long and healthy relationship. Subsequently, when I started to see my romantic relationship tumble down, I decided that black and I were not meant to be. A weekend was spent stripping the dark out of my hair and getting to a natural auburn shade, which is where I am now.

I am now stuck. Where do I go from here? As of now, my hair looks ginger-peachy (does anyone get my pun, or have I just seen Meet Me In St. Louis too many times?). I had planned to go the whole nine yards and further lighten my hair over spring break in hopes of going platinum this summer. But I've begun looking at pictures of Dita Von Teese, and I feel like rekindling my romance with raven locks.

See my jam? Which of the colors do I choose? I know what Marilyn and Grace would say, but I've always been more of a Jane or a Bettie. Still, that iconic color captured best by Lucy and Rita gets me every time.

Starting to feel for one again.

I suppose the "his" in His Vintage Sweetheart is now only hypothetical. In the last weekend of February, I ended my relationship of two years. This post is very hard for me to write, but I believe it is a step in the healing process. I've only begun to see this as not a failure on my part, because I'd been trying for so long to make it work between us and it's only gotten worse in the last few months.

Hmm... We had our ups and we had our downs and in the end, I suppose life will go on. Now I'm sitting here, so much more alone than I normally am, just waiting to feel again. The worst thing about my relationship is that in the time we were together, I stopped feeling for myself and instead felt for him. When putting one's feelings ahead of your own, you must not lose yourself in the process, as I have done. It's time for me to climb out of this hole I've dug and learn to feel for one again.